Dear Pilot Dr. GRIP 0.7,

i never liked pencils until you came along. in grade school i hated how my spelling tests would smear on my hand and make a silvery mess all over my page if i ever tried to correct the #2 lead. i hated that there was never quite enough eraser to use when there was only an inch or so left of its bright yellow body. i never liked that i couldn't make a pencil flow across a page in the effortless beauty of art and grace that my brothers and sisters managed. infact, when 6th grade came and pens were (FINALLY) allowed, i was overflowing with joy, i never used a pencil again, if i could help it. you see, pencils never served me well, until you, Dr. GRIP 0.7. you, with your chunky, yet aerodynamic blue body and clear, oh-so-comfy grip. you, with your re-fillable erasers. you, with your silvery top and bottom. i wore one of you out at work, i used you and i used you , and i never said a word of thanks. not one praise of how you never smear on my hand, how you never jam as other mechanical pencils do, of how you write so smoothly and so beautifully that my handwriting actually looks legible. and then, the unthinkable happened. my #2, my best morning friend, you came up missing. someone stole you. i miss you. please come back to me. the ugly red and black papermate i've been forced to use is NO good! it snags and smears and doesn't write smoothly AT ALL. this will not do. come back dear friend!

HA! now that the psycho babble is over, i just gotta say, i really want my pencil back. whoever thieved it AND countless pens, you stink. you stink like poop.