my travels to the bank

Everyday (and I mean everyday) that I'm at work, I make a trip to good old Zion's Bank to make the deposit for Mr. Mac... and almost everyday, I come across a strange, funny, weird or down right disturbing scene involving various University Mall goers. I am usually too afraid of confrontation to snap any pictures of the offenders with my handy dandy camera phone, so my descriptions will have to do...I'll try to make them good!


Scene #1- Old lady in heels
Location- Nordstrom parking lot
Description- so you know your typical old lady? the shorty, skinny, aged, "i like to wear pants with elastic waist bands," blue shampoo-set haired old lady? yeah...this was so not what I saw a few days ago. Blue Hair, yes she did have that, but that and wrinkles were about all she had that were typical! (no, I'm not talking about that one lady that is like 75 that you see everywhere from K-mart in SF to the Mall in Orem, ya know the one who is blonde as all get out and wears clothes that are made for a 14 year old cheer leader. this was NOT her.) This lady was wearing a very classy pants suit. and 4 inch heels. I can barely walk in 4 inch heels! she was probably 5 foot nuttin without them! I'm guessing she was at least 80 if not older. she was driving an ESCALADE, (she probably needed a freaking trampoline, or a catapult at least, just to get in her car!) and she had a Juicy Couture purse dangling from her frail little shoulder. I so want to be that old lady when I grow up! I may have to shrink a little... okay a lot... but I'm definitely gonna work the stiletto's when I'm nearing the grave!

Scene #2- emo boys... ha Ha HA!!!
Location- directly outside of Hot Topic... surprised? me neither.
Description- just yesterday I was on my way back to The Mac and what did I come across? two cute little emo-goth boys standing outside of Hot Topic. I know, there are always at least two emo punks outside of Hot Topic, but these two were extra funny. it seemed, to me at least, as though they were exchanging Best Friends Forever tokens... they both had hot pink studded dog collar necklaces in their hands, and they were taking turns putting them on each other. In my head their conversation went something like this...think valley girl voices...
Emo #1 "oh! I just, like, love it! I'm so glad we got these pretty, like, pink matching chokers! they are just, like, adorable...my Mom is gonna be, like, so jealous when she see's my new bling!"
Emo #2 "I KNOW! but, like, we probably shouldn't, like, tell, like Jimmy...cause he'll totally like FREAK OUT that we are like, BFF's, and like he might, like cut himself again."
In reality it probably went something like this...think Emo kid going through "the change" voices.
Emo #1 "well...now that I have my (expletive deleted) dog collar, I'm gonna go cut my arms. maybe I'll try cutting my (more expletives deleted) legs too."
Emo #2 "dude don't cut your (expletive deleted) legs. won't get you enough (expletives) attention. try cutting your ugly (yet another expletive) face. DUDE, you should so cut your face you'd look like the (expletive deleted) joker, man!"
anyway...sorry if my interpretation of Emo punks left any of you offended... but remember it's all for the sake of entertainment that I write this, so it's okay...right? ;)



Scene #3- Stroller Mafia
Location- anywhere, everywhere, and places even I haven't seen.
Description- It's the Stroller Mafia. 'nuff said. this group of women push past you in their cute little matching sweat suits (I got it at Target! it was on sale!) with their walking strollers and as you are left in the dust, you may hear a comment on the progress of their Hubby's thesis, or something about how Martha brought her kids to nursery on Sunday, and they all had COLDS!!! please don't misunderstand, I fully plan on joining the Stroller Mafia someday. go strollers and baby backpacks!

Scene #4- creepy, sleepy or awkward guys
Location- outside of Victoria's Secret
Description- there is, without fail, at least one guy sitting outside of Vickie's every time I walk passed. this guy is usually one of 3 things.
guy #1 is the white trash trailer park manager guy who sits on the bench directly in front of the displays of PLASTIC women in their skivvies and wishes that his 400 lb. girlfriend looked like that in the naughties that she got him for his birthday last month.
guy #2 is the guy who's wife dragged him along on her shopping trip and he's too embarrassed to step foot inside of that devil store! he usually is looking directly behind where he is seated. I think this is just a clever ploy set up by the wife... directly behind where he is sitting is a jewelery store.
guy #3 is just too asleep to really know that he is sitting outside of a lingerie factory. shoot, he's to tired to even know that he isn't actually in his house.

so, this is just a small sampling of what I see...daily... more will follow, including something about the Mall receptionist/service desk workers... so, until then!